555-Comx: Leftover Comics

Brute Force #1

Just take a moment and look at that cover. who could pass up a dolphin in a land-walking suit holding an uzi for 25 cents?
I sure as shit couldn't pass this up when i saw it in the quarter bin at Fat Jacks

We start things off with a bang in Brute Force, with a group of clown terrorists breaking into the lab of Dr. Pierce! In the middle of a delicate operation at that!
These clowns then successfully kidnap the gorilla patient for a mysterious reason...

the pace of this comic is incredibly fast, so much so that it seems almost like a spoof of itself. The above panels set the plot up, his son comes into the room eating a Tastee Burger and the clown mascot were the same clowns that kidnapped his gorilla, put into account that tastee burger is owned by the evil Flex corporation that burns down rain forests, that means thats were the gorilla must be! DUH, how simple!
Dr. Pierce is a doctor in Cyborg Robotics. The gorilla they stole has a special suit that makes him smart and super strong...he also has a bunch of other animals laying around the lab....

His son made the obvious opinion of telling his the doc to suit up the rest of his animals and go in search of the gorilla in an unnamed rainforest!

The animals may have special abilities in their new cyborg outfits but they are still a bunch of stupid animals, and they seem to be constantly throwing deadpan humor at you like the one above, with the perfect rolling of the eyes and sighing panel.

First read that panel out of context.

Once the newly formed BRUTE FORCE lands in the amazon rainforest the kangaroo who was just happening to be sticking his head out the window, wearing his stylin ray-bans and rocking out to his walkman, sees the gorilla being taken away by evil military looking men. c'mon BRUTE FORCE! everyone out of the plane and get them!

OOPS! oh BRUTE FORCE, your nothing but a bunch of dumb animals! you can't give a dolphin legs! let alone an uzi! no where in this issue do they explain how the doctor trained the animals in proper weapons use.

YES

BRUTE FORCE ends up beating down a bunch of mercenaries at the airport but they still manage to elude the rescue of there gorilla comrade!
somehow and without explanation BRUTE FORCE then have there own personalized vehicles for the chase to save the gorilla!

above is another example of the deadpan humor sprinkled throughout BRUTE FORCE, the dolphin comes up with the perfect plan just to have the eagle tell him he's wrong and that he's the leader who should make plans, he then repeats the same exact plan the dolphin rolls his eyes and says 'BRILLIANT.'
COMIC GOLD

They then try to save the gorilla, who instead doesn't want to be saved and fights them, above is a great LAZER EYE panel.
The gorilla then gets taken away again, BRUTE FORCE FAIL.
Where is the gorilla being taken too??

OH SHIT! ITS THE MORE EVIL MULTI-CORP THATS IN CHARGE! and whats that? they're putting together there own cyborg-animal team?? HOLY SHIT! As many plot-holes, continuity errors, cheesy jokes and dialog this comic has, it does its job and make me want to pick up the next issue! look at the Octopus with tank wheels! and a shark with razor-blade wheels!! A CYBORG TEAM OF ANIMALS NAMED HEAVY METAL! FUCK YEAH!!

Next up:

Heavy Hitters- LAW DOG #2

That cover reminds me of something Bald Eagles would come up with, just a complete BADASSSS, don't give a fuck, big guns and grenades, 5 oclock shadow, big as fuck, vein bulging, chain wearing, MOTHERFUCKER
give notice to the butcher knife sticking out of his leg.

and thats exactly what LAWDOG is. He's also a dimension-hopping cop of some sorts. In this dimension, a slutty blond is being sacrificed to a gigantic million mouthed demon monster by an even bigger gang of devil worshipers.
LAWDOG teams up with his own gang of CHRISTIAN WORSHIPERS.

He just jumps right in shooting, at first glance it looked to me like his cock was a giant gun which would make this comic all the more better.

While LAWDOG kills all the satanist he send his Christian soldiers to save the damsel in distress.

LAWDOG then shoots some more, fucking more shit up, and ends up stealing a giant crane, packs it with an explosive and...

we get a big-ass-explosion splash page!
It looks completely abstract if you don't know thats an exploding monster your looking at.

LAWDOG Then finds a highway to another dimension INSIDE the monster they just blew up. Ya'see LAWDOG roams from dimension to dimension, keeping things in line, and only he can see the DIMENSIONAL HIGHWAY.

He can't control what dimension he goes too, unfortunately he ends up in a dimension with disgusting flying monster things that spit acid on his car. he luckily drives off a cliff that of course is a DIMENSIONAL HIGHWAY he can only see. So if LAWDOG is some sort of nomadic dimensional peacekeeper, what dimension is he from?

CLASSIC BAD ASS LINE
"MY WORLD IS DEAD, THERE IS NOTHING THERE BUT DEATH"
yeah hes a lone anti-hero alright.
they seem to be in a 'normal' dimension now right? lets go grab something to eat and see whats up.